Sexual Orientation, Gender Identity and Expression

How is sexual orientation different from gender identity and gender expression?

Gender identity is each person's internal and individual experience of gender. It is their sense of being a woman, a man, both, neither, or anywhere along or outside the gender spectrum. A person's gender identity may be the same as or different from their birth assigned sex. 

Gender expression is how a person presents their gender to the other people. This can include how they dress, their hairstyle, make-up, body language, and voice. A person's chosen name and pronoun are also common ways of expressing gender.

Checkout the Gender Unicorn to learn more!

How do I know what my sexual orientation is?

You are the only one who will know your sexual orientation. No one can talk you into being someone you are not. You will learn to trust what feels right for you. 

Often, people find that they're "questioning" for quite a while, or that none of the labels used to describe sexual orientation seem to fit. Feelings of attraction can be confusing, and this is quite normal. There is no time limit on discovering your sexual orientation - it can take years, or a lifetime.

Expectations about who we should be come from family, friends, school, television, videos, movies, magazines, church and society as a whole. We live in a world where people often assume that everyone is heterosexual ("straight").  For some, discrimination and homophobia can make it hard to come to terms with 2SLGBTQ+, so the process of coming out may be slow.

You may want to share your feelings with a trusted family member, friend, counsellor, nurse, teacher or someone at a 2SLGBTQ+ or youth community centre. Reading books with a 2SLGBTQ+ theme will show you that you are not alone in your questions and provide you with important information.

If you cannot answer these questions now, don't worry. You will be more certain in time. You and only you know how to see yourself correctly. You will know if what you are doing feels right. Learn to trust your own feelings.

What is homophobia, transphobia, biphobia or acephobia?

Homophobia, transphobia, biphobia and acephobia are terms used to describe the negative attitudes, feelings, irrational aversion to, fear or hatred of people who are or are perceived to be 2SLGBTQ+.  This way of thinking can lead to discrimination, harassment or violence against 2SLGBTQ+ people, and can be found in the home, workplace or anywhere in the community.

What does it mean to be "out"?

When 2SLGBTQ+ people talk about "coming out of the closet" or "coming out", they mean the process of indicating their sexuality through their outward expression (e.g. tattoo, wearing 2SLGBTQ+ symbols) or sharing their sexuality with others. It could also refer to the process of self-acceptance.  While we strive for a world in which straight identities are not considered to be the norm, coming out remains an experience that is common for many 2SLGBTQ+ people. 

Coming out is a deeply personal experience based a person's own way and their own time. Some 2SLGBTQ+ persons describe the process of sharing their sexuality with others as "inviting in" and letting someone know important parts of themselves.  The concept of “inviting in” is a reminder that we must all put in the work to allow 2SLGBTQ+ persons in our life to feel safe and comfortable being fully open as their authentic selves.

If you are a youth and need to connect with someone safe and anonymous about coming out, it may be helpful to talk to someone on a gay, youth "help" phone-line. They can help answer questions without anyone knowing who you are.